


Shisui Sensei

by TBCat



Series: Shisui Sensei's Team 8 [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TBCat/pseuds/TBCat
Summary: Inspired by an ask on @blackkat 's tumblr:Shisui as the jounin teacher for Team 8.





	Shisui Sensei

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/gifts).



> I have been wanting to practice writing one-shots anyway, then this idea caught my attention, and here we are. (Probably because Shisui is hands down the most attractive Uchiha, and Team 8 is the best, period.

Genin graduation is a highly contentious time of year, full of bullfuckery and chaos. Shisui knows this for fact, as he has successfully survived three years as a jounin without being saddled with a genin team. Alternatively, Shisui is now on Ibiki’s shitlist (dangerous), and owes Itachi a favour (dangerous-er).

This year, Shisui has a plan! He doesn’t have to worry about pissing off someone with power or owing favors to family, because he already has the perfect dupe lined up; Genjutsu Mistress Yuhi Kurenai. Itachi isn’t very good at having friends, but Kurenai is the only ninja in Konoha that rivals his abilities in Genjutsu, so she almost counts. Consequently, Itachi knew as soon as Kurenai made jounin rank; this last year. What Itachi knows, Shisui soon hears as well.

Shisui plans to innocently recommend Kurenai as a jounin sensei for the latest batch of terrors with all the kindness of a kinda-sibling of an almost-friend. Kind of. Well, Shisui’s best plans have always left room for variability.

Uchiha Shisui walks into the Jounin Assignment room as confident as Itachi’s little brother Sasuke. Theoretically, the room is used in wartime for strategy meetings: in actuality it is opened twice a year to force jounin into becoming sensei and choosing sacrifices for the chunin exams. The smell of dust and desperation fills the air. Asuma flicks cigarette ash at Shisui in derision of his abundant cheer.

The meeting processes normally, and Shisui eyes Kurenai with all the subtlety deserved for reconnainse by one jounin on another. That is to say, obviously and without shame. When the Hokage asks for volunteers as jounin sensei Aburame Shibi quietly crickets next to Shisui. Shisui hates to ruin a perfectly executed joke, but he starts phase one of his plan.

“Excuse me, Hokage,” Shisui respectfully interrupts to everyone’s blatant surprise. Jounin don’t want to teach, and Shisui isn’t respectful. “As a close friend,” Shisui takes the liberty to exaggerate a little, “I feel obligated to nominate Yuhi Kurenai as a jounin-sensei. Though she may be new to the rank, and therefore hesitant to volunteer herself, her skills are impossible to doubt.” Shisui smiles at the room with both dimples. Kurenai’s placid, red-eyed stare looks unnervingly like his mother’s right before Shisui is grounded. (Itachi is never grounded! Shisui is 21! It’s not fair!)

The Hokage smiles kindly at Shisui. It’s a little scary. However, he answers Shisui seriously, so… “That’s very honourable of you. However, it will not be possible.” What.

Shisui drops the dimples. “What,” he asks.

Kurenai answers, “I just volunteered for a long term mission with Anko-chan. Didn't you hear?” Her voice is carefully even. Shisui is so fucking steamed he won’t be able to visit the sauna for the next year.

“However,” the Hokage’s smiling face is speaking, “your comradery is commendable.” What. “This is a perfect example of the Will of Fire,” the Hokage continues. That doesn’t even make sense. No. “Therefore,” the Hokage states grandly. Please. “It is only fitting,” No, no, no. “That you are the first jounin selected to be a sensei for this year’s group of genin!” No, nononono.

What.

* * *

What.

Shisui smiles his widest, fakest smile at the three, clAN kids sitting in front of him. Clan kids. Shisui could die. Theoretically, Shisui is allowed to pass or fail genin at his discretion like any jounin sensei. In reality, Shisui is stuck with three clan kids for the foreseeable future. (A Hyuuga! The Hokage must hate Shisui!! Or maybe Iruka is still mad about the Tea Country mission; Shisui was the ranking nin, so Iruka can suck it.)

Well, Shisui was going to challenge his team to a race. (Ha.) Shisui looks at the Aburame heirs obscured face, the Inuzuka’s challenging glare, and the Hyuuga’s bangs.

What.

Shisui is good at improvising. “You three are obviously a tracking team,” he thinks out loud for their benefit. He ignores the Inuzuka’s “no, duh,” and continues, “therefore you’re challenge is to track me through the village before sunset tomorrow!”

Three children look at Shisui like he’s stupid. The Hyuuga eyes are as creepy as he remembers.

The Aburame speaks (finally), “That is a doubtful measurement of our average abilities. Why? Bee-”

Shisui shunshins away rather than listen to their arguments. His mom expects Shisui to pick up the groceries on the way home, so the beginnings of the trail should lead them to the market district at least if they have even minimal individual skill.

The non-lethal traps Shisui knows how to set up on the fly should be enough pressure to force the three into some teamwork. Maybe. Best case scenario, Shisui can justify rejecting the team. Most likely, the three clan kids, ugh, will track Shisui to the mission room by sunset tomorrow and collect their first D-rank. Shisui will take out his angst at being a teacher on the genin until he gets bored or someone else stops him. (Itachi laughed at that statement and implied that Shisui would get bored quickly, which, uh, offense taken!)

* * *

They track him to the mission room by noon the next day, which might have been impressive if it wasn’t so irritating.

“You left before my kinkaichu could tag you,” the Aburame says, nonchalant, as if people normally put bugs on each other! “However,” he continues, and Shisui wished he knew a non-lethal technique to make someone stop talking, “my kinkaichu still functioned for tracking Inuzuka and Hyuuga as they alternately attempted to follow your trail and search the village in a counter-clockwise pattern.”

Shisui stops him there, “You all pass, technically. Ugh.” At least the kids look happy to hear that, so maybe Shisui won’t have three clans breathing down his neck. “However,” Shisui pauses his speech just to enjoy the looks of fear on their faces, “the point of this test was to evaluate your teamwork. Why don’t y'all look up the word consent and consider sharing plans before acting?” Shisui is largely posturing at this point, but fuck if he knows how to turn three pre-teens into functional killers.

“Now, go pick a mission,” Shisui orders. At least being in charge without life-or-death consequences is fun.

“Together!” he adds on, in a strike of genius inspiration.

* * *

Of course they pick the Torah Mission. Torah the Demon Cat has scored hits on veteran ANBU. Torah the Demon Cat is rumoured to be a hunter-nin punishment mission. Torah the Demon Cat is a completely, unbearably, unbelievably boring mission.

Shisui follows the three midgets with dragging steps and a whine in his voice to match the Inuzuka’s puppy. “You found me quick enough. It’s getting dark. Just find this damn cat already.”

The boys ignore Shisui. He is quickly realizing that, shockingly, only the Hyuuga is respectful. For instance: “Sorry Sensei! If I had better stamina and chakra control, I would not have exhausted my Byakugan before the mission.” The girl, Hinata, mumbles.

Shisui gives that the look it deserves. He is the one responsible for pushing them, and he is doing it on purpose to get an understanding of their stamina. Before he can say anything, the Inuzuka, Kiba, interrupts.

“Haha! I found the cat! He’s ours!” Kiba crows. Shisui notes the shape of a cat bolting over rooftops three alleyways down and doesn’t say anything. He can teach them about stealth next time.

Sadly, Kiba was referring to himself and the puppy, Akamaru, not the team at large. He rushes ahead by himself.

Oh well; Shisui planned on doing running drills with the team anyway.

* * *

It is very hard to stand before the Hokage and explain how the traditional Torah the Demon Cat mission ended with a half shaved cat purring in Hyuuga Hinata’s arms while a nearby building burns merrily in the background and melons roll forlornly down the street.

Luckily, the Hokage seems as disturbed by Hinata’s new bond with Torah as literally every other Konoha nin who sees it, so Shisui’s half-assed explanation is enough to get them shooed out of the office with a ten-day mission ban.

Ten days in which the Hokage expects Shisui to provide three genin direct instruction on the nebulous Will of Fire in order to prevent more real fires.

Day one features three fires and the dubious pleasure of meeting Hyuuga Hiashi first-hand. Shisui immediately wonders whether Hiashi and Fugaku are aware that they are soulmates, and then regrets ever being born at the images that populate his brain.

Day two features five fires and Itachi’s first meeting with Shisui’s new team. Shisui thinks he likes them. Maybe. It’s hard to tell when it seems like everyone Shisui knows is maladjusted and uncommunicative. Either way, Itachi traps the team in a group genjutsu that has them walking arm-in-arm all day.

On day three, Shisui almost feels proud (which, ewwww) when young Aburame Shino independently apologizes for the twelve bugs he has planted on them collectively. (Twelve! Shisui completely sympathizes with Hinata’s dead faint, even if he will need to train it out of her.) Team 8 grudgingly forgives Shino. Shisui almost regrets the growth when Shino asks to bug them with consent. Team 8 then causes twelve fires. Twelve!

Day four finally features some real improvement! Instead of fires, the team seems to have moved on to collapsing decorative bridges. Hinata doesn’t apologize when she beats the boys’ times during morning sprints! Lastly, Kiba actually looked Shisui in the eye and called him sensei!

By day eight, Team 8 is finally acting like a functional team. Kiba occupies the position of Point Offense, Shino is has been actively coordinating and communicating tactical information, and Hinata is effectively sharing her observations.

On day ten, Shisui is reminded why he hates genin. He has been working on combat skills and sparring formations, which is quickly proven both needed and a mistake.

Inuzuka Kiba is predictably dependent upon his ninken, even though the dog is still a puppy. It is easy enough for Shisui to occupy Akamaru with a temporary trap and then push Kiba into some basic hand-to-hand practice. Obnoxiously enough, Shisui has to focus to move at half-speed when training the kids, and they still struggle to keep up. Shisui is aware that Shino and Hinata are attempting to flank him, but it is not yet a concern, nor is it his point in pushing Kiba. What is a surprise is when Akamaru escapes his trap and flawlessly jumps off of Kiba’s back towards his face. Shisui ducks the dog-damnned, kunai-sharp teeth.

“Dynamic Marking!” Kiba dramatically shouts. Subtlety, all Shisui wants Kiba to learn is some subtlety, dammit.

Shisui changes his mind as piss arcs down into his perfectly tousled hair, _thank you_. All Shisui wants is Inuzuka Hana’s permission to neuter Akamaru.

* * *

Team 8 is his.

Team 8 is his, and that doesn’t change just because a pair of missing nin has tried to separate them by a measly distance of 27 kilometers through the mountain passes along the Kusa trade routes.

Shisui bursts through the grass that comes to the very edge of the ravine. The bridge has already been destroyed, this time by the enemy rather than Team 8. Shisui lets gravity take him and drops down with the slightest whistle of moving air and his tanto drawn. The missing-nin sidesteps Hinata’s jab and uppercuts her over his shoulder.

In a second, the slight man has a half-size sword drawn and angled to deflect Shisui. Shisui signals Shino to hold his defensive position over Kiba, and stares down the enemy as Hinata gingerly slides to join him. The sharingan picks up the way Hinata cradles her ribs in the corner of Shisui’s field of vision.

Shisui flicks the blood of the other missing-nin off his tanto teasingly. The enemy falls for it.

They bring their hands together to attempt ninjutsu, but abandon it as Shisui flash-steps forward.

Their blades meet with a screech, and Shisui apologizes to the metal of his slightly smaller blade. He twists forward to attempt a jab for the opening in his opponent’s guard.

It was a feint, and they use the chance to disengage and jump onto the walls of the ravine.

Shisui is there to meet them as their feet land.

His tanto slices into the gut, then pins the elbow to the wall. Shisui catches the body with a kunai to the throat as their chakra gives out, and wrenches the blade to prevent any fake-outs.

He turns the sharingan on his three students. They can’t hide any injuries from his eyes, the same way Hinata’s genjutsu can’t hide the client’s caravan sitting just above them from his eyes. His sharingan also doesn’t hide the three appraising looks judging his worth as a teacher and realizing that he only has one thing to teach.

How to kill.

 


End file.
